My last few newsletters have dealt with some ‘tough’ stuff and so as we approach the end of a challenging year, I thought it was time for some humour. As a personnel manager in the manufacturing sector I’ve heard my fair share of ‘great excuses’ but after doing a ‘Google’ search discovered some I’d never heard of and which totally cracked me up. Hope they give you a chuckle also.

I can’t come to work today because….

1. My wife won’t let me – she says there are too many jobs needing to be done around the house
2. My dog just swallowed my bus pass
3. A refrigerator fell on my head and gave me a migraine
4. I forgot that you hired me
5. I was in line at a coffee shop when a truck transporting flour backed up and dumped flour into my convertible.
6. My cat is having a nervous break-down so I can’t leave her
7. I accidentally flushed away my car keys
8. My cervix kept me up all night (this was a male employee calling)
9. My wife is pregnant and I had labour pains all night
10.  I had to deliver a baby on the way to work
11. A skunk got into the house and sprayed all my work uniforms
12. It’s too cold to leave the house
13. It’s too nice outside to be shut in an office
14. I feel too emotionally upset after watching ‘The Hunger Games’
15. My wife put every last pair of my underpants in the washing machine
16. My doctor said I needed more vitamin D so I’m taking the day off to go to the beach
17. My cat unplugged my alarm clock
18. I forgot I was getting married today
19. I have to attend the funeral of my wife’s cousin’s dog cos I’ve been asked to be a pall bearer

But my absolute favourite is this one:

20. My son fell asleep on wet concrete; we’re waiting for the fire brigade to come and chip him out

Have a chuckle.

Ann Andrews CSP

www.annandrews.co.nz

Author: Lessons in Leadership: 50 ways to avoid falling into the ‘Trump’ trap

Source of most of the ‘excuses