I love Christmas – the whole family getting together to share good food, nice wine and presents. What could possibly go wrong? So before we all head off to celebrate – I thought a few of these hilarious family gathering tips might be relevant.
For the people doing all the shopping and preparing the food:
- Henry Kissinger famously said ‘There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.’
- I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing
- I’m presently experiencing life at the rate of 75 WTF’s per hour
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet
For the guests after they’ve had a few wines:
- Today I will be as useless as the ‘G’ in lasagne
- Some things are better left unsaid. Which I generally remember after I’ve said them
- I’m not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?
- If you risk arguing with a woman and she says ‘Wow’……RUN
For post Christmas lunch:
- I’ve removed all the bad food from the house. I ate it. It was delicious
- I named the new puppy I got for Christmas ‘5 miles’ so I can say ‘I walk 5 miles every day’
- If my body is found on a jogging trail, know that I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there
- A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it
Have a lovely family Christmas. And if you know someone is going to be alone for Christmas please invite them over to join your gathering. Christmas with a family of mad people is still infinitely better than eating a turkey leg alone.
Ann Andrews CSP – Speaker, Author, Profiler, Life Member NSANZ
You can also take a really simple ‘Leadership Test’ right here