I love Christmas – the whole family getting together to share good food, nice wine and presents. What could possibly go wrong? So before we all head off to celebrate – I thought a few of these hilarious family gathering tips might be relevant.

For the people doing all the shopping and preparing the food:

1. Henry Kissinger famously said ‘There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.’
2. I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing 
3. I’m presently experiencing life at the rate of 75 WTF’s per hour
4. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet

For the guests after they’ve had a few wines:

1. Today I will be as useless as the ‘G’ in lasagne
2. Some things are better left unsaid. Which I generally remember after I’ve said them
3. I’m not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?
4. If you risk arguing with a woman and she says ‘Wow’……RUN         

For post Christmas lunch:

1. I’ve removed all the bad food from the house. I ate it. It was delicious
2. I named the new puppy I got for Christmas ‘5 miles’ so I can say ‘I walk 5 miles every day’
3. If my body is found on a jogging trail, know that I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there
4. A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it

Have a lovely family Christmas. And if you know someone is going to be alone for Christmas please invite them over to join your gathering. Christmas with a family of mad people is still infinitely better than eating a turkey leg alone.

Ann Andrews CSP – Speaker, Author, Profiler, Life Member NSANZ 

Author: Lessons in Leadership: 50 ways to avoid falling into the ‘Trump’ trap

Author: Leaders Behaving Badly: What happens when ordinary people show up, stand up and speak up

You can also take a really simple ‘Leadership Test’ right here